Yesterday, Ande found my little box of treasures and letters on the shelf under my night stand. He left the contents of my special box scattered all around the room. Last night, as I finally sat down to clean up the mess, I flipped through the piles of letters and keepsakes and began feeling quite nostalgic.
I just love letters. I love writing and being written to. Sometimes I can be shy...at times painfully so (I know...big SHOCKER for all of you who know me...). People who don't know me usually think that I am stuck up or rude. Sorry if you ever thought that about me. When in person, coming up with things to say and good conversation is so hard! When I do finally get brave enough to talk to someone I will either stumble on my words, or end up giving them an awkward, unexpected hug. This is why I like writing. On this blog, or in a letter, I have time to think and process what I want to say and how to say it. I don't feel any pressure to be witty on the spot...and you can't exactly write an awkward hug into a sentence. To me, writing is fun, and safe, and comfortable.
More than anything, I love handwritten letters. In my little treasure box, I have saved letters from my best friends, my sister, my parents, and Curtis. My sister and I have been writing consistently for years now. We started when I went to college, and have continued when she went to college. It's not instant and the news is usually a week or two old, but it seems much more personal that way. I can sense her feelings or attitude about things through her handwriting and punctuation. Sometimes we write sloppy, hurried notes, sometimes long thoughtful letters, and sometimes funny, quirky drawings for each other.
While sifting through the mess Ande had made, I found a few letters that Curtis and I wrote to each other when we were engaged and first married. Like the letters with my sister, these letters were more personal and heart felt than the quick remarks we often left each other on Facebook. Even when we weren't far apart, a letter left on my pillow or wind shield had a way of making my whole day. Somehow, just setting pen to paper allows you to open up and really say things that, in person, you might hold back. I loved reading one set of letters in particular between Curtis and I. We both listed several reasons why we loved each other, things that we now have come to overlook or ignore. Some of the things were funny reminders of how playful we used to be, like how he used to jump on the bed in the morning while I was still sleeping and scare me half to death almost every day.
I want to write more letters. I want to start leaving little notes for Curtis, not for the special occasions, but more for the every day occasions that we often lose sight of. By writing to him, he will know how I feel even though I don't often express it the way I want to in conversation. I also want to write letters to my Owen and Ande. I want to write down all of the funny things they say and do so that down the road they will know how much I have always loved them and how special they are.
I love letters because they preserve memories. I am so glad that Ande "unearthed" all of my memories so that I could go back and remember them, and I hope to make many more.